god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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