sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
