As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
