he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
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Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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