What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
