Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
