careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
