I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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