Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
