So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
