Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
