i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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