I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
