youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
