im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
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I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
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My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize