and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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