I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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