Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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