Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
