but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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