why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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