Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
