I hate your face
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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