i was rollin on her like bob the builder
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
