Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
