McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
