She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
