Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
