YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.