Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
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