I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
