It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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