And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
