trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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