Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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