I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
