Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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