Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
