Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
