Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
