i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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