let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
