He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My bed smells like the plague
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
