He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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