I hate your face
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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