Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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