I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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