I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
