You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize