Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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