and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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