I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
