i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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