I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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