I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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