i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
