Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
