Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
