3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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