the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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