You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize