I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
