he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize