Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
