I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
