I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can't turn off my feet"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
